[2022/06/23] we’re on a break

I told KF that I needed a break. I want to reevaluate my feelings, figure out why I don’t feel the excitement anymore, and think about some major decisions in the future. It’s going to be a blackout – no text, no call, no email, no social media. He doesn’t need it but I do, and we both agreed that we cannot be with someone else in the meantime. He also said something that I thought was very right – a relationship has to work both ways. Also, to love you need both people, but to break you only need 1 person. I don’t want this break to be a break up though (at least I don’t think so now). I just need time and space for myself.

On a side note, KF got a new old car today. It was a super sweet deal – Volvo SUV, 2011 model, 107k miles, for 7.3k, Toyota-associated engine. Also, he was offered a position on campus that allowed him to stay and work as a facilitator while earning money at the same time. I love that for him and I was really supposed to celebrate it with him, but instead, I just told him about the break… See… I can’t do this to him because it’s absolutely toxic. I need this break to work on that and see why that’s happening because being supportive of each other’s achievements and hobbies is one of the foundations of a healthy relationship!

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